Behind Red Eyes
by Daughter Of The Revolution
Summary: A Rome/Germania through Prussia's point of view. And MPreg, because I can. ;P


Summary: I remember the Ancients. I am one of the few who do, but the ones I remember most clearly were that of my vati and of Rome. Will you listen to their untold story only seen through my eyes?

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><p>I am Prussia.<p>

I have seen many a nation rise.

I have seen many a nation fall.

As incompetent as I am called, I have seen much.

Through my own red eyes do these images pass.

Into my mind are they stored as memories.

Now . . .

One of my most early . . .

Was that of my vati . . .

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><p>I was very young when I think back on my earliest memory of my vati. I don't know what age I took in my earliest memory, but I remember being so small, and he being so, so big.<p>

He held me in his arms and he smiled. I smiled as well, especially when he held me high above him and whispered loving words of blessing that I grow strong and wise. That the earth keep me alive for a long time and that my enemies fall beneath my might.

Yes, I remember those exact words. Even at such a young age I remembered.

I remembered the first time my vati took me out with him and showed me how to hunt food and how to prepare it for meals when the beast was dead. I looked much younger than the other boys who were taught this. They were taught what I was taught around the early years of their teens. Me? I looked around the age of four, but I was much wiser than humans by far, and that is why my vati took me.

I remember how content I was; with just me and my vati. We shared the same beds at night, ate from the same bowls, hunted with the same weapons, and bathed in the same pond. We shared everything; flesh and blood, but the one thing that we didn't seem to share in as much quantity was appearance. Vati was of fair hair and bright eyes, while I had hair like snow, and eyes like the blood moon. Still, we were family and Vati made sure I remembered that every day.

It was in this that I was content and so was my Vati, that is . . . until _he_ came.

Decades had passed and now I suppose you could say I resembled that of a six-year-old. I remember that my vati had often had to leave home because of our neighbors constantly crossing boundaries; the ones in the east and the ones in the west alike. Of course vati would return with the success of forcing them out of his land, our land.

Knicks and bruises would adorn his pale skin, but nothing was ever too bad to where I grew afraid for my vati's safety. Even one morning where I was awoken in the early hours of the morning because my vati was preparing himself for one of these scuffles.

He had just placed on his greaves when he noticed my eyes upon him. He smiled softly and patted my head, just like he'd used to do all the time when I was very little. He eased me back into our bed and bid me surrender to dream once more. Of course, me being as awesome as I am, even when I was young, I rejected the offer, exclaiming that I didn't surrender to anything.

Still, I eventually surrendered after feeling his kiss upon my brow and his presence leave our home. When the sun rose, I waited, like I usually do. But when the sun set and the moon swelled in the sky, I became concerned because my vati always returned befor the sun set from the sky.

Sleeping all alone was something new for me and I didn't like it. It hadn't been until deep in the night that my eyes fell heavy and I slept. My dreams were of no comfort that night though. I dreamt that vati returned home with such an injury that death itself followed. It was because of such a nightmare that I awoke early in the morning, just as the sun began to rise.

As my head arose from our bed, my sharp ears caught the sounds of cries from outside. Tossing the blankets off of me, forgetting to even put on my boots, I ran outside and once my feet hit the cold dirt below, I halted. My eyes widened at the sight before, the sight that had caused such cries from mine, and vati's people.

My vati was standing near the entrance to the village. The elders surrounded him, grabbing at his arms and shoulders because he could barely stand on his own as he exclaimed warning to them that I couldn't understand at that age.

His shouts of fearful warning weren't what scared me the most at that age. What scared me the most was seeing him in such a state, as I haven't before. He was covered in blood and cuts, bruises littered on his jaw and neck. I could tell that his wrist was broken by the way it was cradled against his chest.

I couldn't understand what had happened to put my vati into a state I've never seen before. My vati was strong, stronger than our neighbors because whenever they pushed into our land he'd push them back out, simple as that. But, now he was the one that was pushed back and it scared me.

I'm not too sure on what he was shouting. I remember them being a warning to our people, but of what he was shouting is unclear. But what is was clear was that he spoke of an invasion from the south.

An invasion from the south.

There was nothing down south. Not that I was aware of. All of our enemies resided around and above us, not below.

Too confused was I that I cried out to my vati and the moment his bloodshot eyes looked at me he fixated me with a look that I've never seen before. It was that of sorrow, pity, and shame. He then collapsed and I ran to him.

I held his hand in my small arms, running my fingers through his long golden hair and crying to the gods that they save his life. He was taken from me, by the humans around and mended. He was placed in our bed and I laid next to him, wrapped in the same blanket, with my head on top of his chest, listening to his heart, my heart, the heart of our people.

I remember the first time I cried.

My tears escaped me and then, I wasn't so awesome. Who could blame a little child, right? Seeing your fatherland like that hurt and I cried for a long time. My tears forced me into slumber and strange dreams, dreams of my vati long gone and only me in his stead. This is not what I wanted, nor does any child nation wish this upon their parent nation.

I was woken by my vati's hand though. He was petting me again and when I opened my eyes to look at him he smiled at me and we held each other close, snuggled together under our warm blankets. And we stayed that way, well, not for long.

Because my vati lost against a southern invasion from another nation, said southern nation was quick to find my vati again. I can still remember that nation marching into our lands and village with many a soldier in tow. They wore such shiny armor that one would be easily blinded if ever they fought them on a sunny day.

I remembered clinging to my vati's side who had left bed, even against the healer's wishes. He stood at the door to our home and leaned against the frame, his body still heavy with wound and weariness. I clung to his leg and watched as our village was surrounded by the southern nation.

This nation had curly brown locks, though, not as curly as the Celts to the west, but still, it was new to me and I'm sure to the rest of our people. His skin color was the most notable within our people. It was darker than ours, not by much, but it was kissed by the sun too long to where the kiss stayed. When the sun kisses me, it leaves an awful red shade to my skin and when it disappears, it doesn't stay on my skin to leave a darker shade, no, my skin stays as pale as vati's.

Still, I remember feeling such a dominating aura that it was clear as to why vati lost. This nation was strong and he knew it. There was a confident smile sprawled across his lips as he looked our way with amber colored eyes. For a short moment his eyes lay upon me and as they did, I shifted myself more behind my vati's leg. I know it was a cowardice action, but the nation frightened me.

Not vati though. No, no one could scare my vati, no matter if they were stronger than him.

Vati stood his ground and remained as tall and prideful as he could in his state. This was why he was my vati and no one else's. It's because our people were strong in strength and weakness. No one else.

Still, Vati's stance against the offender didn't seem to move the other. The southern nation didn't back off like I'd wished, or forget us like I prayed for. No, no, he came closer, so close to where he looked my vati in the eye.

I thought they'd remain that way for eternity, but they didn't. Eventually, the one from the south spoke, but his language was different from ours and none of us knew what he said. My vati tried to explain this to him through hand motions, but the idiot didn't seem to get until a few minutes later.

When he did, he seemed to laugh and then call for a soldier of him and when the selected human came beside his nation he motioned for my vati to speak. Vati was still in much pain and so through gritted teeth he asked his questions of why he had been invaded and what his people had done to the other's.

The soldier actually began speaking in our language, though it was heavily laced with a funny accent, we could both understand him. The soldier told us that nothing was done to their people, but that their nation was an empire (I guess it meant a _very_ powerful nation) and that his leader, including theirs, had ordered them to invade to expand such an empire.

And then, get this; the soldier had the nerve to ask my vati to join their empire. This got our people, including my vati, into such a rage that vati took hold of the soldier, lifting him off of his feet, and then tossing him right at the other nation. This action hadn't been expected, but nonetheless, the soldier was easily caught by the other nation and anger was laced throughout his features.

When I looked up towards my vati's face, I noticed a few of his wounds had opened, blood was seeping out of the corner of his mouth and down the side of his cheek, but that didn't deter him from his rage and snarl at the others. He shouted, he shouted out curses that I've never heard come out of his mouth before and had been forbidden from using.

He held onto his side and pointed at the offenders, exclaiming his hate for outsiders and his want to be left alone and to not join in some empire he knew nothing of. This seemed to perturb the other nation and he was quick to speak to the soldier who spoke our language. The soldier only responded to the tanned nation in their own tongue before turning a narrowed eye back towards us.

"We have beaten you once and can do it again if you do not comply to our demands," the soldier said, pointing towards my vati.

"I was caught off my guard. It _will_ not happen again," my vati reassured.

I remember grinning and sticking my tongue out at the others, especially at that other idiot nation. I'm not sure if it was my response or my vati's that caused the other nation to glare at us before turning to his soldier again and saying something before marching off with the others.

"We will return," the soldier said as he turned with the others as well.

My vati stood there until their presence vanished. He was brave in the face of danger because he was strong, but strong doesn't fall, never, and that is what vati did the moment he made sure they were really gone.

Vati was still hurt and so anyone could understand why he collapsed, but as a young child, I couldn't. Seeing my parent nation in such a state scared me, and, just thinking back on it, I can still feel the fear I felt at such a young age.

Still . . .

That night I slept on my vati's breast like a newborn babe. No matter what kind of pain he was in, he didn't deny his own offspring rest for their troubled head. The next day, I found my vati gone. I knew he was probably summoned to our leader's home to discuss the problem with the other nation and that I was never allowed to go with vati until I was much older, but I was worried about him and you can't blame a child for wanting to know if their parent was going to be safe.

Besides, I had many a path in the woods where no one knew, not even vati. The places too small for someone as big as him. So through those paths I tread and eventually I made it to our leader's home, there, I crept in the shadows and corners, so not to be seen or heard. When I finally found my vati, I saw our leader was with him, but his temper was anything but at peace.

He was shouting at my vati. My vati only stood there, silent, taking those hurtful words he was saying about him, about how weak and useless they were—how weak and useless my vati was. I could hear every word and it hurt me because I knew they were lies. I knew my vati wasn't useless, that he could beat this threatening nation if he wanted to . . . if he wanted to.

"We cannot go to war with this empire!" Our leader shouted to where small tears leaked out of his red eyes and down his red face. "We are not so united as them. They will conquer us. What are we to do? !"

Our leader covered his face and ran his shaking hands through his unkempt dark blonde hair. I could see he was frustrated and scared, and I'm sure my vati could as well, yet, still, my vati only stood there in silence, waiting for our leader to calm himself. This tactic was very much what he was like when I threw a tantrum and he'd wait it out with such patience that I've never inherited.

"Germania?" Our leader's dark blue eyes looked back towards my vati with such desperation that I knew he was out of ideas as to what to do with this invasion.

Vati shifted on his good leg before blinking and letting out a sigh. He opened his thin lips and spoke—

"There is nothing I can do in force. You have stated it yourself, but . . . I can . . . learn their language and commune with them. Perhaps, ride to the nation's home and speak to him, personally."

_Vati, what do you speak of?_ Were my thoughts in that moment. As long as I've known my vati, I have never heard him suggest such an outrageous and idiotic idea. Any threat was always taken care of by his blade, no matter how strong the offender be.

But he did, and our leader seemed to have nothing else to choose from than this.

"I don't like it," Our leader spoke up, bowing his shamed head. "But what other choice do we have when we are so divided? Are you sure _you_ want to do this, Germania?"

"Ja, there is no one else," Vati replied and I blinked my red eyes in confusion before I decided I was too confused as to what they were speaking of and so I turned and crept off, heading home.

I waited at the house for a long time until vati returned. He closed the door slowly and then limped towards our bedroom where he found me sitting, a strange look on my face.

"Prussia," he said to me. "What is wrong?"

"I don't know, Vati," was my reply, though my eyes were still cast down in confused thought. "I don't know what is happening to our home; our people; us."

I looked up at my vati then and on his face came a soft smile before he made his way to my side and pulled me in his lap, making sure I looked him in the eyes.

"There is many things you don't understand, but you will. One day, one day you'll come into the understanding of everything of nations. You hear me, little one?"

"Ja, I do. But, vati . . . what's going to happen?"

It was then, I remember, my vati's face dropping. He closed his eyes and sighed before he looked me in the eyes once more.

"I shall have to leave you soon, Prussia. I don't know for how long, but I want you to promise me to stay strong. No matter how long I am gone, I want you to promise."

"Vati, what are you saying?"

"Do not fret. I will be in no danger," Vati said, a soft smiling returning to his lips as he ran his fingers through my ivory hair. "And I may return sooner than you think."

"But, you'll miss so many birthdays if you leave me!"

"Ja, I know, but I'll try and make it back on your birthdays. You hear?"

"I do," I nodded and I remembered beginning to cry, and I remember vati taking me into his arms tightly and holding me close until I drifted off into slumber, just like when I was an infant.

It hadn't been but two weeks when Vati left me . . . like he said he would.

I remember standing there, not wanting to let go of my vati's pant leg as he attempted to mount his readied steed. Of course he was patient with me, like he always was. He waited until my grip weakened and I had no choice but to let him go. I cried again as I watched him leave, wondering how long it would be until I saw him again. No matter how many kisses he left on my head, I still cried because he was gone from me.

One day passed, and then a second, and a third. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Sure, this wasn't too long for a nation like me, but without my vati, it seemed like an eternity. Now, a year had passed and on came my birthday.

My people wanted to celebrate my arrival into this world, but I hadn't the heart to do such a thing, not without my vati there, telling me the story over and over of how I was born and of my mother that passed long ago, leaving only me as her memory to be left in my vati's care. He wasn't there though, and he had promised he would try. So my birthday was so lonely and I couldn't look any of our people in the eye because they were frowning along with me.

That day I spent by the watering hole, sharpening a stick with a small dagger vati had given me on my previous birthday. I looked at the blade and smiled, remembering how silly happy I was when vati gave it to me. I remember his laugh at me for my overreaction, but I loved the present anyways—only because it was from him.

With a sigh, I continued on before the stick was sharp enough and I tossed it into the pond before searching for another to sharpen. I had sharpened about four already and counting. Right when I reached the fifth stick I heard a few shouts from the village some ways behind me. I halted and turned; I could see the townspeople rushing around towards the gates.

My eyes widened and I took off into a run. I ran as fast as my tiny legs could carry me and I remember tripping a few times even, but I still made it back to the village-now-turned-town in relative time and made it just in time to see my vati jump off his horse and run towards me, his arms just as outstretched as mine.

I cried again. Hell, I don't even know why I was so teary-eyed. I blame it on my age, but whatever. I was happy to see my vati again. Who wouldn't be, right?

"You made it! Vati, you made it for my birthday!" I remember exclaiming as I wet his tunic.

"I promised I would, did I not?" Vati replied with a wide smile as he kissed my face and held me close.

The hug was warm and long before vati pulled me away and tug into his sack.

"I have brought you something," Vati explained to me, smiling at my anxious features.

"What is it, what is it? !" I asked, my eyes wide and my fingers itching to take hold of whatever present he got for me.

"It's a bit different than what you're used to, but I want you to enjoy it."

My red eyes widened as I looked Vati brought me. It was a shield, a small golden shield that was so foreign looking to me that, for a moment, I didn't know what it was.

"It is a shield, Prussia." Vati's voice brought me out of my surprise and my eyes turned to his face, he was smiling affectionately at me. I remember how soft his eyes were and yet . . . how sad they were as well.

"I—I know," I remember stuttering as my tiny arms reached out and took it up. It was heavier than it looked, but I managed to hold it anyways.

"I thought you might want one to go with that dagger I got you for your last birthday," Vati said with a chuckle as he stood and watched me hold the thing.

"A true warrior shouldn't have to rely on a shield in battle, but his dagger!" I exclaimed cheerfully as I unsheathed my dagger and held it up in the sky as I sat my new present down. Vati only shook his head at me and took up the shield for me.

"Your logic is misplaced, my son." He laughed at me, but I laughed back and then I held him again.

"Vati!" I cried, wrapping my arms around his waist. "The real birthday present is you being here."

"I thought as much," I heard his reply as his hands came to my hair. "Goodness, have you not been letting the townspeople cut your hair? It's become unruly."

"I want hair like yours, vati!" I remember saying and it was true too! If my vati could sport around long locks, then why not me? Maybe, I thought, if I had the same hairstyle as my father nation then the others would think we were more related.

"I'm afraid not, little one," is what vati said to me as he shook his head down at me so softly un-approving, like he always did with me. His fingers were soon back running through my ivory locks and he rubbed my head. "Your hair isn't as straight as mine. It wouldn't look too good long."

"It's not fair," I complained, but he just patted my back, bending over to take up the small golden shield. "Come," he said, flicking his head towards our home. "Let's prepare you your birthday meal and celebrate."

I remember smiling so large my cheeks hurt throughout the remainder of the day and until I fell asleep, resting in my vati's lap. I was happy he returned, but when I awoke, I was all alone again.

My vati had left me once more.

I came to the conclusion rather soon that this was how I would grow; barely being able to see my vati except on special occasions—if he could make it. Some of our festivals he wasn't able to attend for whatever reason, but always, always on my birthday he came and would always gift me with foreign objects when all I wanted in the world was for him to just stay with me, forever. Continually he'd whisper his apologies and continually I'd reject them, exclaiming that it was that other nation that kept him away so much.

And it was true. I was right in my accusations. Why? You may ask. Because I heard the strange language flowing out of my vati's lips, how often he'd recite it like it was his new language. When he didn't speak it among our leader, I heard them speaking about the empire, this Rome and how Germania had come to be quite close to him.

Apparently so close that he'd rather be with him than me. Still, I saw the rage in our leader's eyes and heard it in his shouts. At first his shouts were in German and then he'd catch his tongue, knowing others around could hear him, and then he'd begin shouting at my vati in that new language; Latin.

I didn't want to learn the language. I didn't care. It was _him_ who took my vati from me. It was _him_ who drew his affections away from his own child. How could my own vati care for someone above me, me?

Those were my thoughts and from them I would take every Roman present vati would bring me and I would toss them into the watering hole. I wanted nothing to do with the Romans and my vati shouldn't either, yet, I often heard from our leader that vati was away to keep war from us. To keep us safe, especially me.

I suspect that vati knew about my temper towards the nation, but he was so quiet about the subject that the Roman was still but a stranger to me. That wouldn't be for long though.

"Prussia," Vati called to me as he took me by my hand and led me outside our home and towards his horse. "Come with me."

I wouldn't deny anything my vati asked of me for the world and so I listened and followed. Vati sat behind me as we rode into the woods. I don't remember how long we had been riding, but when our steed stopped, we were standing right before a camp, a Roman camp, and they had been waiting.

I remember setting my red eyes on the nation that I remembered seeing so long ago. The one who stole my vati from me. He stood near the camp's entrance with his helmet under his arm and a scarlet cape about this shoulders. The moment our stallion stopped he took towards us in a trot and was quick to take hold of the reins so that vati and I could unsaddle ourselves.

I let out a gasp as vati took me up and about handed me over to the other nation so he could help me down. I glared in anger at seeing the other nation reach out as if to take me in his arms like some parenting nation. I didn't think so!

"Don't touch me, empire!" I shouted, wiggling in my vati's grasp to where he let me go so I could dismount on my own. "I can get off the horse on my own!"

I did happen to catch his shocked expression on vati's face and heard a few words spoken by the Roman to my vati, which I knew not of. I turned my head to vati who only shook his head and swung his leg over the saddle to dismount, but watched as that nation took hold of my vati's arm and helped him off like a gentle man would a gentle lady.

Just remembering the sight of it still makes me sick. I hated the nation and I still do!

A few other words were exchanged that I didn't know how to interpret and then vati turned to me and called my name. I turned to him reluctantly and came to him as he pointed me closer. So, standing by his side, I crossed my arms, refusing to meet Rome's gaze.

"Prussia, this is the Roman Empire," Vati said as he motioned towards the tanned brunette who inclined his head towards me. "He is who I have stayed with in hopes to prevent war among our people."

I then watched the empire bend his knees and look me in the eyes, an affectionate smile on his lips like he liked kids, just like vati. He then opened his tanned lips and began to speak in my language, though it was choppy and heavily accented, I could now put a voice to him.

"Greetings, Prussia. You, Germania's child?" He asked of me.

I looked up at vati who motioned towards the nation, signaling me to answer when asked a question. It was only polite, right?

"Ja," Was the only reply he got out of me.

"It is shame you don't resemble him too much," Rome spoke again, his features turning somewhat sad. "Your face not as pretty as his."

"Rome!" I heard my vati gasp right before I had. My eyes widened and I watched my vati take the Empire by the arm and yank him away from me while he scolded him in Latin, the other only chuckled before brushing his fingers through vati's hair—just like I used to do.

I remember feeling so angry, thinking: How could vati let anyone else but me touch his hair, his face, anything? Just who was this nation to my vati? He was nothing but a savage who needed to be destroyed so it could be just me and vati, like old times.

My eyes cast down in sadness from what the Empire said. I know I don't look too much like vati and for that I was always sad. I still am. My vati was handsome and beautiful and I always wanted to look just like him, but I didn't.

I didn't.

I couldn't understand what vati was saying to the Empire, but I imagined that he was scolding him about his response to my looks and telling him to not hurt my feelings about my appearance like he'd done so many times to our people when they saw me and wondered. But Rome chuckled and waved his hands. He turned back to me and smiled again, pulling something from a sack on his side.

"Treat for you?" he asked me, holding out the strange looking morsel.

"Nein, Rome. He can't have sweets," Vati denied the treat as he pushed his hand away from me.

"You mean you _won't_ let him have them," Rome shot back with a teasing snicker before turning back and about shoving the thing down my throat.

"Nein, nein!" I cried out. "I don't want any Roman food!"

Rome frowned and turned to my vati, speaking again in his own language, a language that my vati seemed to know so well now. Vati only crossed his arms and replied back. It sounded like they were in some sort of parenting argument. I had seen vati's stance like this before when some mothers would confront him about the way he raised me, but I don't know if that is what they were really talking about, I only assumed.

Still, being around so many Romans made me sick to my stomach. Their stench, their skin color, the way they walked, I hated it all. This Roman Empire was the personification of them and so I personally hated him the most.

"Little one, would you like me to show you to my men?" Rome suddenly asked me. "So you can see what Romans do?"

"I want to return home, vati," I remember complaining.

"You'll go with Rome," Vati said, giving me those warning eyes. "Rome is being ever so kind to get used to you, like he is to me. His leader doesn't like me, and our leader doesn't like him. If we are to have some form of a union then you'll warm up to him as well."

"But, vati—!"

Vati raised his hand to have me silenced and I shut my lips. With one more of those looks of his, I bowed my head and did as he wished of me. I went with the nation as he showed me his soldiers and how they sparred and what they ate and what they wore, etcetera. I didn't like it and I knew vati was upset with me for not trying to like the people, but I didn't care.

"So, what you think of us, Prussia?" Rome asked, turning to me with a large grin.

"Different," I muttered, casting my eyes away. I didn't want to give him the real answer to his question because vati was standing there with us. If vati heard those words escape my lips he'd beat me until I couldn't sit down, I just knew it.

Vati always encouraged me to stay strong and fight off enemies, but also know when you should take allies. He told me that two nations are always stronger than one and also, that that is where most children nations came from—unions. I didn't care about any of that though, unlike vati.

"I am not sure if you mean insults or praises," Rome said, raising a brow (looks like he was on to me too).

He glanced a look towards vati who only sighed and shook his head so disapprovingly I knew that he was disappointed in me. But what was he expecting from me? That I suddenly grow an attachment to the Empire? I didn't know my vati's relationship with the nation, but I knew he wouldn't suddenly blossom close feelings to him so soon as well. That much I still knew about my vati, even though he was changing right before my eyes in those years.

That day was very boring for someone as amazing as me. So I continually pleaded with my vati that we return home and that I wanted to be with just him and not the Romans. Vati was always so patient with me and persisted that I at least stay until nightfall, but my complaints broke him earlier.

The sun was getting ready to set and vati finally decided that his embarrassment of his rude child had gotten to him. I could tell because he kept apologizing to Rome for my behavior and continually he would say that I had inherited my attitude from my mother, though Rome only chuckled and muttered something that pissed off vati to where even he urged to return home as he grabbed me and pushed me along, the two of us stepping out of the Roman's tent towards our horse.

"Germania, wait," Rome called, dunking from underneath the tent and coming to touch vati's arm.

I turned in time to see Rome whisper to vati that he wanted to speak with him a little while before he left. Vati seemed to still be annoyed by the nation like I was but he sighed and gave in. He turned to me and motioned I mount our steed.

"Get ready, I'll be out in a moment," he said to me, and with that, he turned and headed back inside the scarlet tent with the brunette.

I went to climb on top of the horse, but after one failed mount and a few snickers from some nearby soldiers, I decided to wait for vati, but vati had been gone for over a minute and that was far too long for me to stand around like some idiot while being laughed at by foreigners. So, I turned and peaked inside, to see what was keeping my vati.

My eyes widened, but I forced no gasp escape my lips 'less they hear me. I still don't think vati knew I was there, and that I saw what I saw, but I did. I saw why vati seemed to walk a little closer to the other nation unlike the others around us, why vati seemed to let this nation touch him so intimately like he would his own people.

Vati was too close to that Roman nation.

Embraced in a long and close kiss, my vati was letting the Empire touch him, far too close for my liking. Vati had given me lip kisses before but none like the kiss he was giving to Rome. I couldn't believe he would lip kiss anyone but me and because of that thought, I began to despise my own vati's kisses.

I know I should have turned away right then and there, but I remained crouched their, watching my vati with this foreign nation and a fire burned in me, a fire to destroy this nation who tries to take my vati from me. Such is the feeling of a child, especially an only child.

Their lips finally parted and that Roman Empire placed his hands on my vati's hips, turning him in his arms to where his back was against his chest. There they just stood. Both of their faces wore an expression I had only seen on young couples in the town. I had never seen vati with such a soft and satisfied expression on his face. I had no idea what the look meant when I was so little.

Then, I remember Rome speaking. Of course it was in his language and vati answered him in his language. I couldn't understand what they were speaking about, but I noticed how Rome rubbed his nose in my vati's long locks that he smiled and spoke in near mumbles before his hands came down to rest on my vati's gut, where vati's hands came to rest upon them.

Rome continued to speak in soft whispers with smiling lips as he brought those tanned lips to vati's cheek and layered it with kisses, like I used to but I kissed quicker, not as slow as the Roman.

Whatever it was that Rome said, vati shook his head softly and whispered something back in Latin. Rome put on a pout before shaking his head and whispering something once more before kissing vati again.

It was enough for me to see to turn away and try and mount the horse against everyone's laughs and snickers. I was still so small and that horse so big that I just couldn't pull myself up and often landed on my bottom. The embarrassment brought tears to my eyes, but was I really crying from that? I often asked myself. Or was it the fact that vati seemed to love someone much more than me?

I remember vati coming out of the tent after hearing the laughter of Rome's men. He took me in his arms and threatened another soul to laugh at his child once more. I could see the soldiers faces and how undaunted they were, but when Rome exited his tent he settled his men and gave them all warning glares. He whispered apologies to vati who only replied that he had stayed too long and so turned and placed me on our horse before mounting and seating himself behind me.

Vati took hold of the reins and nudged the horse into a walk. I looked around and saw every Roman soldier sneering at us and so I sneered back. Who did they think they were anyways? Were they any better? No, they were lesser. So far below us that they were worse than the dirt we walked on.

That was my opinion anyways, but not vati's.

I looked up at vati who had his eyes set on the road ahead. Right before our steed even stepped out of the camp I remember hearing the Roman Empire call out my vati's name. I felt my vati turn in the saddle to turn and glance back at the nation. I didn't want to see that bastard's face again, but I was such a curious child when I was younger, even against my better judgment, and so I turned and watched as Rome placed the tips of his fingers to his lips and then extended his hand out towards my vati.

I grumbled quietly and looked up just in time to see a bright pink coloring spread across my vati's cheeks. A shade I've never before seen cross his skin. He was flustered and in it he quickened the pace of our steed into a trot and we exited the camp quicker.

"You'll grow accustomed to them, eventually," Vati spoke, making me look up at him as he kept his blue eyes on the road ahead.

"Does that mean they'll be staying?" I asked. I knew ways vati would word things and how they would mean something else completely.

I remember feeling vati's muscles tense around me. I know he wanted to give me a neutral answer, but the way he moved was enough answer for me. So I sighed and he heard me.

"Peace, my son," I remember vati saying to me as he bent down and kissed the top of my head, but I was quick to shake those traitorous lips off of me.

I knew vati was surprised by this action. I could feel his eyes on me. I didn't care though. I didn't want his Roman kisses, I wanted his German kisses and they were all given away to that Empire!

"Prussia, what is wrong?" Vati asked.

"Everything," I admitted, though I wished I hadn't because with that admitting I could feel my throat tighten and my eyes water.

It hurt, this change. I felt as if I no longer knew my vati. I felt as if he didn't love me as much as his new lover. I felt . . . I felt . . .

Abandoned.

The horse halted and vati dismounted and looked up at me as I sat there with my head bowed, trying my best to keep the tears at bay. Warriors don't cry. Vati told me that a long time ago.

I couldn't even look at my own vati because I felt so foreign to him. I knew he wanted me to look at him, but how could I? He wasn't the same vati I once knew. The vati that would hate anything foreign, just like me.

Then, I remember him placing his hand on my thigh. I looked at him then. Just his simple touch could always turn my scarlet eyes upon him. He was smiling softly at me with the same affection he always carried for his child. Sure his expression directed towards me was different than the face he wore with Rome, but in those eyes I could still see my vati

"I will listen to the desire of your heart, my child," he told me and I cried.

"Vati!" I cried out as I reached to him and he took me in his arms, letting me wet his tunic. "I grow without you by my side! You return only on my birthday bearing foreign gifts. You speak different languages so perfectly that you forget your own! You love Rome more than Prussia!"

Vati petted my head like he always had done, ever since I was little. He then kissed my head, letting his lips linger as he whispered one word to me—

"Lies."

I opened my eyes and looked into his blue ones. He smiled and rubbed his forehead against mine for a moment before he brought up his fingers and wiped away my tears.

"Don't you ever think that I'll stop loving you, Prussia, " I remember him telling me. "It hurts me more than you know, to be away from you for so long—in a land not my own, our own. I want to return, but I do this for you, Prussia, for our people. To keep the children from seeing so much bloodshed that it'd make generations bitter against the Roman Empire. Do you understand?"

As a child, no one could really understand and so I automatically nodded. My selfish want to have my vati always by my side was still great inside me, but I remained quiet and held my vati close. That night, when we returned home we slept close together and when morning came, vati was there, waiting for me to wake up.

Vati had actually spent a good two weeks with me and said that he'd spend more if he could find enough time to take off from his national duties. I wanted so badly for that. This two weeks was a treat for me, but I wanted at least a couple years—you know—so he can make up for the years he's lost.

Though, one day, when vati was seeing our leader I happened to grow tired of waiting for the "yea" or "nay" so I snuck into our leader's home and came upon him speaking with my vati. It wasn't too far away that I had heard our leader, he was shouting at vati, but his shouts frightened me and I ran so close to the room that I almost forgot to hide myself least I be caught by our scary leader or vati.

As I crouched down my heart began to race and my limbs shook at what our leader was shouting. Luckily he hadn't learned Latin as well as vati and I could understand what he was saying because he preferred to speak in German.

"What kind of a personification are you? !" I remembered our leader shouting, so loud that it was as if he was standing right next to me, even though I hid in the shadows in the corner near the door. "You speak of such a foolish union that it's nonsense! Do you not see your people's hate for those damned Romans? ! Do you see them? !"

Vati was silent, I could see his form. I could see him standing before our leader with such a face that he looked quite disappointed in our leader's reaction. Our leader though, his face was red with anger and he paced before vati with an anger that I was afraid he might strike my vati—I've seen our leaders do so before, but lately—it's been the ones having to deal with the Romans at our door and in our lands. They hated them that much and vati even more for communing with them and trying to befriend the nation.

"We hate the Romans and they hate us! They say we are nothing but savages, but they are nothing but devils! Now here you go about uniting with that damn nation to better our people? What you speak is blasphemy!

_What is he speaking of, Vati?_ I remembered wanting to ask my vati. _Defend yourself!_

I hated it when our leaders would shout at vati and degrade him so. It hurt him and me just by those words and I could see that vati was standing his ground, though the look in his eyes was that of near defeat.

"Look at Gaul," Vati finally spoke up; his eyes coming to meet our leader's in a daring stare. "She didn't like Rome at first, but now she's united with him and they've had a child. That child has brought their people together and now her people are living longer and living in clean towns. Look at us, we are nothing but peasants compared to them and yet Rome insists we unite our people so that we may thrive together."

"You've been away for far too long, Germania," our leader said, his eyes narrowed in suspicion towards my vati. "One would think you no longer German, but Roman."

"It is impossible for me to break any ties to my people," my vati said. "I am German through and through and I want what is best for my people even if they don't want it themselves."

"What thoughts have this Empire clouded your mind with?" our leader spoke again, this time he began to circle my vati like some predator and I was afraid what might happen. I knew my vati was strong, but our recent leaders always scared me and I knew vati would never lay a hand on any of them. So if they struck him, he wouldn't resist, even if they struck him more than once.

"Was it their cities, their marble homes, their vibrant clothing, their rich foods?" Our leader asked as he closed in on vati who only avoided eye contact as much as he could so not to start any fight. "Tell me, Germania. What has this Empire used to seduce your mind away from your people?"

I watched as my vati straightened his shoulders and turned his head to our leader. Now, staring at him with narrowed eyes and a frown upon his lips, my vati answered—

"An easy life."

"Easy, of course you want easy, wouldn't you, Germania?" our leader scoffed at my vati. "I've heard tales of you when you were younger, how much you used to train to become strong so that our people needn't have to worry about enemies, but now, now you have no pride!"

"My pride is in my people!" I heard my vati raise his tone a little. This I could tell was getting on my vati's nerves; he usually never raises his tone.

"What would you think of Prussia's mother now?" Our leader suddenly said, surprising me, and probably my vati, by the change of subject. "What would she think of your ideas? She was strong and her strength and yours combined into your child. She sacrificed herself for his birth in the hopes that you would stay strong and teach him to be the same, now, look, you wish him to bow before another nation who is stronger just so they can invade our lands and take our people!"

"She saw to reason and my reason is right in conversing with Rome about unions," Vati spoke up.

"You speak so fondly of him," our leader said. "What feelings pulls you to his side? Adoration? Covetousness? Love?"

Vati cast his eyes down and I watched our leader's eyes follow his. I watched closer as our leader's cold icy blue eyes widened slightly before narrowing. He opened his mouth and bore his teeth and for a moment, I thought he might let out the hissing sound of a snake for a moment, I did.

"Too long you've been from your people that you've come to love the Empire's people—you've come to love the Empire!"

"You don't understand," Vati spoke up again, his eyes still away as he tried to explain in his words.

"This has nothing to do with you two being a nation," our leader said. "Our people hate each other and yet you two would share bed! Behind our backs you lay next to him and we will not have this from our own nation!"

"You have no right . . ." Vati's voice suddenly became deep and angry as he turned his eyes towards our leader. He pulled his lips back and bore his own teeth in his frown. "You have NO right to tell me what I can or cannot do for MY people! I am them and they are me! I know the desires of their heart!"

"Then you will know that we wish you to return to us," our leader said, tilting his chin up. "You will return or your son will become our nation."

"Nein! He is too young!" Vati denied. "He has his own people and they are far too small to become a land so big. Please, wait. I am almost done speaking about a union with Rome. If I could just get his leader to see—"

"To see what? I'm sure he hates that Rome bears affection to you just as I hate that you bear such foul affections to him!"

"There will be a union," Vati said, shaking his head and standing his ground "We have already decided it because our people can gain so much from it."

"I forbid it," our leader spat.

"It is too late to forbid what has been done," I heard my vati whisper as he cast his eyes away again.

Once more I watched as our leader's face turned a deep red in such a rage I thought he might try and hurt my vati as he came up to him and hit him across the jaw.

"How dare you? . . . How DARE you? !"

Vati only stood there though, a split lip left in the wake of the hit and then I watched as our leader went to strike my vati's gut, but vati stopped him and pushed him back with such a force that he fell into his chair and stumbled backwards.

"Don't you touch my child!" I heard vati shout, his eyes alit with such an anger that I shook.

"I forbid its birth!" Our leader shouted as he stood up on an injured leg and wiped off blood from a cut on his brow. "There is to be no union of Romans and Germans, never!"

"I will win my people over," vati said as he placed a hand on his belly. "Before the birth I will make sure that this child's welcome is a pleasant one and not one of bloodshed. You will see. This is for the good of both our peoples."

"I curse you," our leader spat, pointing at my vati. "I curse you to death! I curse that Roman nation to death! I curse your child! May you all meet your end by sword! All of you!"

Vati was quick to turn and I was quick to run. I ran out of town and into the woods and it was there I sat, not wanting to move or even think about what I just witnessed. But I couldn't help it. What our leader said, what vati protected, it wasn't me, but a child. A child that I didn't know was there and in that age—didn't know where exactly it had come from.

I couldn't even try to imagine the things I had heard. I was too young and couldn't put things together very well like I can now, so, I just sat there in the middle of the woods, until night fell and I saw from afar the town light their torches for the evening. I remember wanting to go to vati and ask him what everything meant, but I couldn't. I couldn't because then he would know I followed him and hid from his sight like some coward, but wasn't I doing that right then? While I sat in the woods, waiting for my scared confusion to subside?

I was . . .

I was afraid.

I was afraid of our leader. I was afraid of vati because I had never seen him touch any of our leaders like that, even if they were threatening in any physical way.

"Vati," I remember whispering to myself as I finally managed to command my knees to hold my legs upright so I could run back to our home, and when I entered I found vati sitting in a chair, his eyes empty and his lips parted slightly. "Vati," I called to him as I stepped close to him, but he didn't respond. He remained where he sat and looking like as if he was one dead to the world.

Then, I touched him lightly on his large hand, a hand that once held me close, a hand that was worn with the roughness of holding a sword in battle to defend. A hand that was once my own to hold.

He blinked and then turned his eyes upon me. For a moment, they were still empty until he smiled softly like he always did with me and pulled me into a hug.

"It's all going to be well, Prussia," he said to me as he ran his fingers through my messy locks. "You will see."

"What is wrong, vati?" I remember asking, shaking in his embrace after remembering everything I had seen and heard.

"Nothing," he reassured me, but I knew he was lying.

How? You my asked. Well, it was simple, even for a child such as myself in that time. After the incident with our leader, our people became cold. Vati's and mine; they stared at vati with harsh eyes and I cringed at them as I stood by his side.

Vati would return home for longer periods of time, sometimes even months, but if there was one time I wished he'd stay away, it was then. Our people, I could hear their murmurs, see their hate for my vati even though he was their nation. I figured it was because of our leader—he had turned them against us and it was horrible.

Never in my life had I seen our people in such a dismay towards vati. They were always so proud of him and especially when he had me. This behavior from our people caused vati to become more distant—not that he left me or anything, but his mind would leave numerous times, even when we would play together.

He had not been himself, or, as much as himself as I had remembered him being, since the fight with our leader. I had seen our leader with a splint tied around his leg. I had seen him limping around, but I couldn't help but be happy for his condition. Vati had hurt him and for once I wished he'd do it again.

I knew vati could see their stares and hear their murmurs, if I could he could. Besides, his face began to grow more and more downward every time he returned home. He looked so depressed and nothing I could do would make him smile. He wasn't smiling anymore and it made me so, so sad because of it.

I often wondered if that Roman Empire could make vati smile again. Even if it was _him_, I wished to see my vati smile. But when vati took me to their camp I found they were constructing a small town, smaller than our own, but they were erecting living quarters and everything. Still, when I saw him and he embraced us both, vati was quick to escape his arms and that frown on his face, seemed to worsen.

When the Empire had managed to take me aside, away from my vati, who still wasn't in his right state of mind, he looked at me and then glanced at my vati before kneeling close to me.

"What wrong with Germania?" he asked me in that horrible accent. I cringed at the sound, but I shook off the dislike for a moment and looked at him with sad eyes. "Our leader," I started, watching the Empire lean closer with interest. "He struck my vati and when he tried to strike him again, vati pushed him away and he got hurt."

"Where did he strike Germania?" Rome asked, his eyes seemed so serious that I stuttered. He looked right at me like I was an adult nation, one to be respected and given attention to just as much as him. It was a strange feeling, but I cleared my throat and pointed to my jaw. "Here," I said and then pointed towards my gut. "He tried to hit him here, but vati stopped him and pushed him away."

I watched Rome's amber eyes follow the movements of my hands and when I showed him the place where our leader meant to strike on vati, but was unsuccessful, his eyes widened and a frown appeared. I watched the Empire's body movements and one I noticed the most out of his shifting body was a clenching of his fist that resting against his knee.

"Is he well?" he asked, his face growing concerned with soft affection.

"Nein," I answered truthfully. No matter how much I wanted to tell that bastard that he was fine, that my vati was just as strong as he was before, I couldn't. Someone else had to know and help me understand. "His eyes wander," I told him. "Even when with me. Our people curse him with their eyes and unspoken words.. Vati sees and hears all and now he falls more and more into darkness. What can I do?"

Rome was silent for a good moment as he slowly nodded his head in understanding before he turned his eyes back towards my vati who remained seated in a chair he had been offered when we arrived at the small town—he hadn't moved since—not even to check and see if I was well.

"I too have noticed his mood," Rome finally spoke again, turning his eyes back towards me, lowering his voice in a whisper so that vati couldn't hear. "When he is with me and people, he continues to say how much he misses his own people and so I let him go, but you tell me that they continue to hate him when he returns?"

"Then why does he come back?" I asked, feeling desperate tears in my eyes at just wanting to understand what was wrong with my vati. "If our people kill him with his words then why won't he stay away?"

"Because he love you," Rome answered with a soft smile as he rubbed my head and then stood before turning and heading over to where vati sat with his eyes wandering off somewhere me and Rome didn't know about.

I watched Rome touch vati on the shoulder and it took a little while before he looked at him. I could see Rome speaking to him, but it was in his own language. He was probably asking if vati was all right or something. How was I supposed to know what they were saying? Apparently, though, he was asking him if he wanting anything to eat because servants came to them bearing large silver trays of food, but I watched vati shake his head and decline, though it looked like Rome was persistent in getting him to eat something and continued to offer him food, but vati waved his hands for him to stop.

Our visit with the Empire seemed to continue like that, with Rome persisting vati do this, eat that, say something, anything. It came to the point where vati lashed out at the him, surprising me and Rome at once. With that lash, vati took me by the hand and left in an anger.

Upon returning home I was put to bed, but sleep was hard to fall into that night with so many things running through my mind. The next morning though, vati was up and it looked like he hadn't even gone to sleep. He sat in a chair and just stared off into the distance. Only when I touched him would he come back to our world and our home.

Daily he would take me out to hunt and walk through the town, though it finally came to the point where the murmurs were now talk and the stares were direct eye contact. We were eventually confronted by our own people, our neighbors we lived just next to, and they spat at my vati, the women throwing things at him, and the me shouting curses.

"Break your ties to the Empire!" they would shout and I remember their faces, their angry faces all directed towards my vati, my vati. But still, they continued nonstop, and every day they would shout this at my vati. "Kill the nation! Kill him! Break ties! All ties! Kill the ties! Kill the ties, kill them!"

Kill the ties!

Kill the ties!

Kill the ties—l!

Kill the ti—ld!

Kill the child!

It morphed into that very phrase and when it did I looked up at my vati in such a confusion. He didn't look back at me though, no, his eyes were away from our people and his lips trembled with a bitter sadness, a regretful emotion that he closed his eyes and tugged on my hand tightly, walking back to our home with such a speed that I nearly tripped trying to keep up with him. Though, when my vati turned a street he was met with our leader who only stood there with his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed, the elders behind him.

"Your mistake is yours to carry, not Prussia's," I remember our leader saying as he looked at my vati directly in the eyes. "Give us the child so that he may not make the same regretful actions that you have."

I remember looking back to my vati and I watched his face twist into such a bitter sadness that he let go.

He let go of my hand.

He let go of me.

Me.

I remember standing there with my mouth agape as I watched my vati turn and sprint off in the direction of the woods. I had never felt so disappointed in my vati then right then, when he had let go of my hand.

"There, there, little one," I remember our leader saying from behind me, and as I turned to see his hideous smile, I felt sick to my stomach just at the sight of it. "We will mold you into a fit nation. A strong nation. A nation who will always grant their people's desires and not their foolish imagined needs."

"Nein, nein!" I cried as I too turned and ran off, back home.

I spent such a long time in the house that I lost track of time itself. Vati never returned that day, or the next, or the next and I grew so afraid. Afraid that vati had given up on me, on our people—on himself. I've heard of nations being able to do that, to willingly die and fade from history. I didn't want vati to do such a thing. I didn't want to no longer have a vati.

I remember finally not being able to take it; me being apart from vati for so long. I gathered up my courage and left in the night to search for my vati. I searched places he would always go to clear his head, but he was nowhere. I even searched in the roman town, but he was not there, and neither was the Empire.

So, I continued to search and eventually, my search led me into the Roman Empire. I was close to the capital and was about to head there when I felt my vati's presence. I made my way through the trees and made sure to be as quiet as possible. If vati was still in his strange moods, who knew what he could do?

Still, I needed to know if he was safe and well, and if—if he would ever return to me. I hated the thought that he had abandoned me. I didn't think he was any curse to our people like our people thought. He was them after all. And how could they say such a thing to their nation, how?

When I looked, I remember everything. I remember seeing my vati again, but what I had seen is still engraved into my brain and I can remember this as clear as day. I remember every detail of that day, every!

The sun was shining down in rays through the tree leaves. The day was growing cooler as we fell into autumn and the tree had yet to change color. Still, I remember the hour to be about 4 in the afternoon.

I remember a small wind blowing to my left and then I remember vati—vati was straddling the Roman Empire and in his hand he held a dagger and the blade was wet with scarlet blood, as scarlet as my eyes. I remember trying my best not to gasp out loud because the sight before me was so surreal that I thought I was dreaming.

But I wasn't.

I could see the outline of my vati's shoulders, covered under his green cloak; they were trembling. His hair was covering his face, but I remember seeing something fall from his face down to the nation under him whose eyes were so wide that he looked horrified.

Tears.

Yes, I remember.

They were tears that were falling on the Roman's face. My vati was crying as he held onto the blade with quivering hands. The blade was already so far into the Empire's chest that I could tell he would die. I bit my bottom lip and sucked in a deep breath to hold. My eyes kept on the sight before me and then I watched as the Roman's lips moved, as if he was trying to speak.

He began speaking, but it was in Latin. I didn't know what he was saying, but I could guess. He was probably wondering why vati would do such a thing to him when the two seemed so close. Just at his words, my vati began to shake more before he tilted his head up a little and cried out, it was in Latin, so I couldn't understand it either.

I couldn't guess what vati was trying to say. I couldn't.

If I would have learned that language that vati tried to teach me so long ago, I would have known the words they spoke and understood why they said and did what they did.

"I can't take this anymore, Rome," is what I would have heard my vati say through trembling lips. "I can't! My people won't listen, they won't accept!"

Rome seemed to smile the best he could, though, the look on his face looked that of regret. He shook his head and raised his hand to touch vati's hand that clung so tightly onto the handle of the blade embedded deep in his chest.

If I would have known the language, I wouldn't have heard Rome speak gibberish like I usually did. I would have heard him say—

"I understand, Germania. I understand, but you didn't have to do this, you didn't have to. If you would have waited for the union's birth, then we could have lived together, like we wanted to—helping our people become great."

I watched as my vati shook his head and shouted at the empire, his eyes were closed. I could see them now and the tears wouldn't stop falling.

"The union won't come!" I would have heard my vati shout. "It won't come."

I then watched as Rome brought his bloody palm up to my vati's face and touched his pail tear-stained cheek. Vati then opened his eyes and they were red and swollen with his tears. His blue eyes seemed so much more noticeable with his eyes in such a state and I watched as he looked down at the nation he had killed.

Rome spoke only a few words with a sad smile. Those words seemed to make vati shake even more and he closed his eyes again as he shoved the blade deeper.

I know it was cowardly of me, but I turned and ran. I ran until I was back in my bed in my house, my home. I had never seen my vati like that and never thought I would. He had sheltered me very much when I was younger and, seeing that, it hurt me. It hurt to see my vati kill someone, even if it was that hated nation—a nation I thought my vati loved.

I laid in bed for what seemed like forever. It might as well have been because I stayed inside for weeks. But, one night, when the moon and stars shown bright, I heard the door open and I heard footsteps. I wanted to move and see who it was, but those footsteps were familiar—it was vati. They were heavy though, so heavy that I stayed put and laid in bed.

Then, the door opened and I turned my eyes to see vati. He stood in the doorway, covered in blood. It was not his own, but it still frightened me. His eyes though, they were wandering again, even as he looked at me I could tell his gaze was not truly on me.

"Prussia," he spoke in such a deep voice that I barely recognized it as his own. "Why are you awake? You should be sleeping."

I gasped as I watched him come to bed and pull on the covers before coming to lay next to me, pulling me into his arms. He hadn't even taken off his armor or bothered to mind the dried blood all over him that was caking off onto me. He just laid against me, his skin cold and haunting.

"Go to sleep," I remembered him whispering to me, though my eyes were wide awake. I stared at the wall before me as my vati held me close. I could tell his eyes wandered as well and he would not sleep.

I was in such a confusion that I was beginning to shake. Vati wasn't vati anymore, not at all.

"I'm sorry you're cold," I remembered my vati suddenly whispering as his grip tightened around me. "I try—I try to keep you warm. I try."

His grasp seemed to just tighten and tight, and it was then that he shook and he buried his face into my neck and wept. He wept loud and hard and bitter.

I could not sleep like vati wanted me to. I was kept awake the whole night with his tears and wails, such a sound I had never before heard in my known life.

I wish I could tell you that I was happy the Roman Empire was gone (I was actually) and that my vati was returned to me like nothing had ever happened, but that was not the case. My vati was not my vati anymore. I began to think that maybe our leader was right—that he was more Roman than German now.

He seemed so different, since his blade met Rome's heart. He would not speak about what befell the Empire even when the nations around us stirred and questioned him about the sudden death of the world power. They persisted that he knew of whom had slain Rome, but vati sealed his lips, even to me.

So, I didn't ask. Why? Because he wouldn't tell anyone and I had seen it all. I don't know if vati even knew I was there, but I didn't want to speak of it just as much as he didn't.

Still . . .

Vati's smile never returned.

His vibrant blue eyes were now a dark stormy blue, always wandering, always down. He began to slowly stop caring for himself, letting his hair tangle, his skin dirty with mud and sand, his clothes tear and stain. It was I who had to grow up suddenly and tend to him.

I tried my best to take care of him, but I resembled no more than a 10-year-old boy. I was still quite young in nation years and vati, he was far older. He should know how to handle things like this and yet, there he was, seated and not moving, his eyes ever wandering.

Our hunts turned into solo hunts, with just me bringing home the food and vati the one waiting at home, though, I solemnly believe that if I wasn't there for him that he would rather starve to death. I believed it with all my heart when I was younger and I still do to this day.

It's not like he wouldn't eat and drink on his own, no, it's that he wouldn't leave the house for anything. He wouldn't hunt for meal or pail water for drink. It was that, and he began to turn pale, from the lack of sun.

I begged him over and over for him to at least feel the outside air on his skin once more and see the light of day, but he refused and remained where he sat, looking as if he had already died and his body was mindlessly moving on its own.

He wasn't himself anymore, anyone could tell that, and yet . . . I couldn't help but wonder why he did what he did.

The last I had seen him before the incident was the time he left me among our people. He had walked off as fast as he could and left me for years with our people, their lips always pressed into my ears telling me to become strong and to grow fast and that my vati was worthless and should die for ever trying to create a union with Rome.

What was I to think as a child? What?

I hated the people for saying such hateful things against my vati. Mein vati.

But, once news of Rome's death reached our people's ears and once the rumors of my vati putting his life to an end erupted, it wasn't long before they returned, with smiling faces and clapping hands, coming before my vati in praise and pride.

"You finally did what I told of you, Germania," our leader said as he patted my vati's shoulder.

Vati did not move, he did not speak, or listen to any of their rambling. He just sat in his seat and let his eyes wander. This act of ignoring seemed to upset our leader. I could tell by the way he frowned, but his frown was quickly replaced by that fake smile of his as he turned back to our people and hailed their great nation they had so quickly scorned not too long ago.

I hated it all. I knew every one of their faces. I bored them into my mind and made sure to remember them; those who spit upon my vati. And here they were, now worshiping their nation like they should have.

"Our nation is strong!" I remember them praising with their hypocritical lips. "Our nation defeats world power! We are strong! We are the Germans!"

I remember clenching my fists so tight that they shook. I wanted to strike them all down where they stood, but as my eyes traveled to my vati I noticed his stare. It was off again, but for a small moment I watched his eyes focus and he looked at our people in their praises before he stood. All halted and silenced for him, but vati only stared at them before turning and leaving.

He walked off into the woods once more and I feared losing him. So I was quick to follow him. It wasn't long until I caught with his footsteps and I noticed that he had stopped. There he stood, in the light of the moon, his head bowed.

I called to him—

"Vati."

For once, vati responded to my call and turned to me. His eyes were still dark and his face pale, but I watched as he placed a slow hand upon his gut and glanced down. I was confused as to why he made such gestures, that is, before he spoke to me, saying—

"After so many years . . . the union finally grows."

I don't know if vati could see my confusion or just feel it, but I suppose he would have likely seen it on my face. I remembered our leader's strange words, but I never really fully understood it.

I watched as vati shook his head with a soft sad smile on his lips. Everything about his features spoke sadness.

"Why do you think now . . . it comes?"

"What comes, vati?" I asked him, coming closer to him as he stared at me with sad eyes that I was sure were not for me.

"Give me hands," he said and I did. I gave them both and he placed them against his belly and stood there.

We stood there for just a little while until something fluttered under my vati's skin and tickled the palms of my hand. I jumped and my eyes widened. I didn't know what it was. Who would at that age, right?

"Vati?" I looked back at my vati with questioning eyes and as I looked at his eyes he looked about ready to cry. I could see the water in his eyes, but nothing fell. I was so scared the tears would fall again, but they didn't.

"It grows," he said again. Inhaling a shaking breath he blinked and looked down at my hands upon his belly. "A little too late," he added, his voice lowering to nothing but a mere whisper. "A little too late."

I still didn't know what vati meant that night, but what I did know, was that vati was expecting a child nation.

His poor condition seemed to worsen, especially when our leader discovered about the growth. He was furious and once again he became violent towards vati, but even though vati didn't look strong, he was strong enough to toss our leader out of the window when he tried to put a dagger in his gut.

Strangely enough, our leader didn't speak a word about it to our people. He let their smiles dwell across their lips when they saw my vati, but his frown remained and he would speak to the elders only about this and how the union, this child nation, was a curse to our people.

Was it? Why? What had my vati, or this expecting child, done?

It didn't matter I suppose, because our leader had gotten a hold of me and spoke in my ear. He told me of this union child nation and how the other parent was indeed Rome, a nation still loathed by me even in death. Our leader told me how my vati wished it to be born and to grow in power like Rome had, and then to become the Empire.

That didn't sit well with me and when I retuned home and saw my vati rubbing his belly affectionately, he turned his eyes to me with a soft smile.

"Would you like a little brother, or a little sister?"

"Neither," I told him. "I just want you, vati. Look at yourself, you're—you're—you're dying!"

I then threw myself upon him and wrapped my arms around him tightly, crying into his hair and wishing him stay by my side forever. I knew that my mother had given her life so that I may live and I know that vati will give his life so that this union child shall live. I didn't want it though; I wanted my vati and not this child that carried the blood of that Roman!

"Hush, my loved one," vati whispered into my hair, rubbing my back. "You are strong, you hear me?"

I remember vati taking a tight hold of me and pulling me back so that he could look into my eyes and I into his.

"You are strong! You will grow and live and you will thrive. Do you hear?"

"I do," I nodded.

"Good." He smiled at me and kissed my brow as he pulled me back onto his lap and stayed there, as did I.

Vati said I would become strong, but who would teach me such a thing when he would be gone? I didn't want that, never, and yet, it was coming on me quicker than I had ever thought it would.

Day by day, week by week, I watched vati's belly slowly swell to where he could barely move, but it wasn't because of the swell, no, he was weak, so weak that you could see it in his eyes.

Dark circles were deep under his eyes and his muscles weakened. He couldn't move and laid in bed looking as if one ready for death. And he was. He told me this every day that he could almost touch the afterlife—almost see those he had once known, in a lifetime before my own.

And I would beg, beg my vati to remain by my side, to no allow the child to grow. But he would just ramble on like one mad with words of nonsense.

"I wish for a girl child," he would say as his gaze drifted to the roof in such a daze I thought he would fade from existence right then. "That way—she would stay away from war, away from conquest. She would remain where she was birthed and be a peaceful nation. What do you think, Prussia? What do you think of a sister?"

I couldn't say anything to my vati when his mind was so loose like that. Even if I tried he'd close his eyes in a daze and he would sleep for days on end. The time was close and I knew this, and so did our leader.

He would always be there, watching my vati's condition just as much, but he grew old, so old that I knew he'd fade as well. In fact, he would never make it to the birth of my vati's child. He would die a year before.

I remembered how happy vati was when he heard of our leader's death and it was then he began to sleep more peaceful. He would constantly ask for me to join him. He would call me to lay with him and sleep like we used to, when I was little.

Even though I was no longer a little child, I did not deny my vati this last pleasure. He held me close and smiled as I laid against him, all bundled up in furs and blankets. Sometimes we would just lay in bed, not even sleeping, just laying with the other, enjoying the other's presence.

I was happy for a time and I believed my vati was as well. Even though I missed the way we used to be, I wouldn't have traded such a close time with my vati for the world. In those last moments of his life on the earth, he was so close to me and I to him.

I remember waking early in the morning on a day early in summer. Vati writhed in pain and I was quick to fetch the young nurses, girls who were too young to have even known of my vati being called a traitor. In fact, everyone that attended to my vati were young, so young and so full of new pride for him. They cared for his well-being, not like the old fools still hanging to their miserable lives.

When the nurses looked at my vati, they pulled me to the side of the room and threw the blankets off. Lighting up candles they propped him upon bundled furs and set water upon his brow and down his lips.

It was time.

Throughout the night this continued and it hurt to see my vati in so much pain. The nurses continued saying something about him being a male nation and that it wasn't a good thing for what was happening. They took out a knife and cut his swell, they cut it clear across. I suppose, it was the only way.

Dawn finally came.

I turned my eyes to the rising sun and just as it came into the rose-colored sky, a cry broke out and I turned to see the nurses pull out a small thing, all bloody and greasy. They wiped it off and poured water all over it until nothing but pink skin surrounded it.

"A boy!" they declared and I watched in awe as they wrapped the child in a dark blanket and gently placed him in my vati's arms.

My vati.

He was hanging on to his last breath. I could tell.

He could barely hold the child and I watched on in silence as his eyes looked down at the babe, the babe that looked so much like him. I crept closer until I was standing by my vati's side. Looking at the child, I agreed, the child was the complete replica of my vati—something I wished I had been. For having Roman blood, my vati's features seemed to have dominated the babe nation and for that, I was a little glad. A little.

"A boy," my vati whispered, his voice not being able to go any higher. I watched as he managed to pull the child against his face and nudge him affectionately. He couldn't raise him high in his arms like he did me, but there were good reasons for that.

I watched as my vati shook his head, his eyes falling in sadness, knowing the boy nation would seek fights and power. He looked so sad, but still, he managed a smile as he looked at the child with weary eyes.

"Be strong," he whispered to him, and once more he spoke in Latin. I assumed he was repeating the words he had spoken in German. "Be brave . . . grow big . . . live long . . . be wise . . . make friends . . . love your brother . . . love your vati."

I remember my heart ripping out of my very chest as I watched my vati cry once more. It was such hurting tears that I remember crying myself. I know I shouldn't have. I know I should have been strong, but I couldn't stop crying. Watching my vati, hearing him speak such soft words in our language and in the child's father's language, it hurt me more than I would have liked to admit, and still hurts me to remember it to this day.

"Remember your history . . . be kind to your future," my vati continued even though his eyes were closed, wet with overflowing tears that seemed too much for his body to even manage.

And then. . .

A smile . . .

He smiled one last time.

"Hear my words . . . hear my words. I love you, my child. I love you."

Right then I wanted to crawl into my vati's lap and hug him close, but I couldn't. I just stood there, watching his life escape his eyes, a trail of blood falling passed his lips as he leant his forehead against the newborn nation who began to cry.

The nurses. I remember haring their gasps. I remember hearing their cries. I remember them rushing to my vati's side even though he was already gone.

I remember crying so loud that the nurses had to take the child into another room so he would not hear such a thing and cry along with me.

I remember it all too clearly and I wish I could forget. I lost my vati and I can't forget it.

I don't know how long I cried for, but I do know that I cried until I would no longer cry anymore. No more tears would slip passed my eyes when I grew because they fell on the day my vati slipped from me, forever.

I still don't understand why my vati did the things he did.

I still don't understand why he loved the Roman Empire so much.

And I especially don't understand why he left me, with only a little brother to call family.

He looked just like my vati and yet he was come to be named the Holy Roman Empire, after his own vati. I hated the name, but I stayed with him and helped him grow since my vati wasn't there. Neither of his parent nations were around during his birth, and so I had to help raise him—I at least got to grow a little with my vati. Not he. He had no one but me, his bruder.

He did grow in power, just like my vati had predicted and as I watched him grow, I often wonder where my vati was now. Was he in the afterlife? Was he with _that_ nation?

I didn't know these things, even at my age now.

But I did know that vati died but left me a little brother. A brother whom I loved because he looked so much like my vati. I would not accept his name and he knew it, but he didn't seem to mind the name I had given him, a name derived from my vati's name—Germany. Of course I only called him this when we were alone and he only answered to it in childish secrecy.

Still, the boy continued to grow and never once asked about his parents. He knew they were not around anymore, as were mine, but he never asked how they met their end. I was glad because I didn't know if I could tell him. Honestly.

Still, I couldn't shake the thought of how happy I am that the Roman Empire is gone. I had always hated him and just thinking about him upsets me. If he hadn't been in this picture then perhaps all of this wouldn't have happened. Hell, of course it wouldn't have.

I blamed the nation for everything. The only good thing he did was giving me a little brother that he had created with my vati. A little brother that resembled the very being whom he had so acclaimed to have loved as well.

I don't regret Rome's death. He was a bastard anyways and is gone forever.

But . . .

So is vati.

So is my vati.

I miss him.

Germany looks just like him.

And sometimes . . .

It hurts to look at my bruder.

I miss mein vati so much.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Daughter Of The Revolution<span>: Yeah, this came out longer than I had expected and took FOREVER to finish :/ Anyways, hope you enjoyed. I actually ship MPreg so you may see it in other fics as well, though I think I'll do a fair ammount of it not in my fics, but just warnin' ya, I still like it and such, so yeah ;P**

**I wanted to do angst so this story popped up. I also wanted to do a fic about Germania getting pregnant with Rome's little _Holy Roman Empire_ when he was dying (Rome, that is). Weird, I know, but this turned out like this and so yeah.**

**Well, expect more from me soon! Oh, look! I added Prussia because I adore him too. I think he's one of the best big brother's just 'cause, and I wanted to see what it'd be like to have him taking care of little brother after papa passed away, especially when said little brother looks just like papa! XD**

**I hope it was angsty-ish enough for you guys. I enjoy writing sad things, so, there's something else to beware from me. Alright, review and tell me your thoughts. No flames please!**


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